purplerabbit

I am trying to make myself edit one of the many first drafts I have in my que. My ability to focus on the task as definitely been off for a couple months.

I love writing. Yet, I will admit to enjoying writing the first draft and re-reading the finished product better than all the hard work in the middle. Rewriting/editing also requires a kind of flexible but strong ego that can be hard to muster some days. I need to be flexible and discerning enough to be able to see where the story needs to improve, the writing tightened or expanded, etc. and strong enough to believe "I'm good and know I can do this." I have to be able to see my mistakes but not be daunted by them, and, instead, get excited about improving on what I've already done.

I also have a number of solo works that are currently on my "to do list." I need to start carving out time for both the editing and the solo work. I love co-authoring, yet there are stories I can probably only tell on my own. It's hard to balance so many projects needing my attention, especially when my ability to pay attention has been hampered. There are, of course, real-world stuff outside my control that impact all this and have increased my tendency lately to just want to escape into reading instead of editing.

Now, don't get me wrong. Reading is actually an important part of writing. I read a lot of non-fiction, for example, that provides a lot of the material that goes into my fiction. And I read other people's fiction both for the fun of it and for the examples of what to do (and not do) in my own work.

Someone else's well written story can make me yearn to write that well. But the ego thing comes back into play here. Sometimes good writing by someone else can do the opposite of inspire but leave me feeling hopelessly unfit to write. I have to have a strong enough ego to work past the insecurity around my own shortcomings and try to improve them.

The trick for me can be how to get me to go back to it rather than throw my hands up in disgust at my own work. I have had days where comments from readers who like my work made a difference in whether or not I could keep writing that day. Even weirder, sometimes reading badly done fiction by someone else helps too. It can inspire, the "I can do this better" mentality that gets me back at the keyboard. Other times, just telling someone about the story I have not finished can remind me of the things I liked about the story and get me to go back to it.

Not sure if this post was for you or me. Am I procrastinating editing or getting myself psyched to do it? Both? As long as it works, eh?

On the positive side of the scale today... Received another royalty check from books I wrote over a decade ago. Non-fiction doesn't usually have that long a sales life. It can become outdated quickly. Yet, my first book continues to sell. The publisher closed it's doors a couple years ago, but the corporation that owned it keeps selling the stock and I still get those checks.

I write for me, I edit for readers. Writing is as much a compulsion as a talent for me, so back to that editing so I can share what I've written with others.

Only one person has answered as available for the clothing swap. Does that mean folks aren't interested or just don't have those dates available? Should I just give all this clothing to charity? Or try another set of dates?

A NIGHT OF EROTIC FANTASY
with writers Cecilia Tan and D. M Atkins
Tuesday, July 21st, 7pm - 9pm
Borderlands Bookstore
866 Valencia Street (@ 19th)

Celebrating the release of their new books MIND GAMES and FAEWOLF, Cecilia Tan and D. M. Atkins will read hot and enticing segments of their fiction and answer questions about the fabulous intersection of genres that could be called erotic urban fantasy, or paranormal romance. In MIND GAMES Cecilia Tan explores what happens when a young telepathic woman's sister disappears and her search takes her into the back rooms of a swingers club. In FAEWOLF D. M Atkins presents a world in which faewolves, like werewolves, can walk among us as men. What happens when a young gay college student risks his heart and his life to love one of these men? Books will be for sale and autographing.

We pulled out my four trunks of costumes from the attic today.

In preparation to a planned SCA (Medieval re-creation group) event outing, we sorted through the "garb" that would fit each of us, especially the stuff that would fit our teenage boy -- mostly stuff my husband and I wore twenty years ago.We manage to find something to fit each of us, given I had an entire trunk of Medieval and Renaissance costumes.

But we also had fun sorting through the other costumes that span nearly forty years of my costume making. A lot of it was 1970s vintage science fiction and fantasy costumes. I also have vintage clothing pieces like my grandmother's hats that date back to the 1940s.

Four trunks full of costumes and odds and ends, only the really sentimental stuff left from probably hundreds of costumes made and/or worn over the years, not including ones made in the last ten years. Some of the costumes in the collection include:

• The 1776 dress I wore for the Bicentennial Parade in 1976


• My Logan's Run satin tunic with golden belt and golden sandals


• My infamous black boots worn as part of many costumes, including the Captain's uniform from original Star Trek


• The female "Warrior" costume - skimpy gold armour, black fishnet body suit and sword - that I won awards with in 1979


• "Starry" the blue and gold satin clown suit I was wearing when I met my husband 23 years ago


• My "Tavern Wench" costume from early SCA revels


• My black and purple corset worn to Rocky Horror Picture Show in the 70s and 80s


• My boffer armour and tunic made up to be my D&D character in 1981


• Several of my singing telegram costumes including the red-lame tux jacket that was worn with black body suit and fishnet stockings


• Several of my stripping telegram costumes including the hat from my police uniform


• The glow-in-the-dark fairy wings my cat, Catherine, used to wear at Halloween


• A very 1970s alien ball gown for the "Babel Ball" at a Star Trek convention


• A leopard print body suit with tail and ears


• Half a dozen different witches hats, including sexy dresses to match.


• Nearly see-through elf costume with custom-made latex pointed ears


• Various "super heroes" of my own creation including one that involved a sexy black fishnet body suit with red flames covering strategic places


• Gypsy costume with ribboned red circle skirt, drop shoulder chemise and brocade bodice


• Crete Priestess outfit with beaded layered skirt with hoops, breast-exposed bodice and snake jewellery


• Pirate costume with corset, feather-plumed velvet pirate hat and real cutlass

I have worn easily several hundred costumes in my life so far and made many more for others. I wonder what it would take to pull together pictures of most (if not all) into an album. My son certainly was awed to look at only the remnants of the collection (claiming a few for his own use now).

Since Faewolf is an ebook, it has got me thinking a lot about the barriers that I have had to buying ebooks.

My first objection was readability. That is becoming less and less of an option, especially given how much reading folks do online already and how much better the technology is now. For Faewolf, I think Circlet Press has done an excellent job in their formatting and in making sure it is available in lots of different types of files. The new readers that are coming out are amazing in their quality so that they look more and more like reading on paper. (I have friends who have Sony and Kindle devices.)

My second objection was durability. I am very used to having a book to hold in my hands. And I still like that. On the other hand, ebooks make up for that in a number of ways. The files are permanent, you can keep them and store them on your computer or other device. They take up less space and are easier to move. Our last move was a nightmare. We have over twenty large bookcases. I am actually looking at getting more of those books in digital form so we can have more room in our house. I am also finding ebooks might help with access issues for me. My fibromyalgia means it can be difficult and painful to hold a large book, especially in hardcover, when I read.

My third was value. Like most people, I want to stretch my money to cover as much as possible. Yet, most ebooks are priced less than a paperback. Even with discounts, the traditional hardback release is usually five times as much money as a new ebook. And ebooks are immediately downloadable and you don't have to pay for shipping. Even when you find a cheap used paperback online, you have to pay to ship it.

Faewolf, along with most ebooks, costs less than it costs to go to see a movie. When you go to the theatre, you don't even get to re-watch the movie. And DVDs usually cost more than ebooks. My family are big movie fans. For one movie, we will spend the cost of taking all of us (4-5 adults) plus soda, candy and popcorn to the show. Then if we like the movie, we buy the DVD when it comes out. That means we probably spend at least $50 on a film, sometimes more.

My biggest problem with ebooks so far is portability. But only because the ebook readers are still too expensive. If my family is to realistically switch over to buying more ebooks, we will need a reading device for each of us. The ebook readers we like so far are all several hundred dollars. There are five adults and one teenager in our house. That's a lot of money to equip us. We probably won't be able to do it until they are under $100 each. In the meantime, we use our laptops. I like to read in bed, and I find it possible, but more difficult, to read in bed with a laptop. It gets heavy and hot though. And I want the book that can slip into my bag or pocket. In my family, we never go anywhere without a book. It can be odd but fun to see us all sitting there during a lull on outings, reading our books.

The move to ebooks has a lot to recommend it and I will be doing more with them. I like the growing diversity of choices for reading and I want to support it. As a writer, I like the potential to develop new literature and give more creative control to authors. As a reader, I like that it will give me more books to read.

This weekend, May 22-24, I will be attending BayCon 2009 - The San Francisco Bay Area Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention.

I am currently schedule to speak on two panels and, though they haven't pinned down the day and time yet, to give a reading from Faewolf.


Gender Roles for the Body-Swapping Age (Saturday 5:30 PM) - As we creep closer to being able to download a personality into a computer, the discussion about how to define gender is heating up. When a body is only temporary, how does one determine their gender identity? Science fiction has been discussing these issues for years. Our panelists will bring their views to the table and we'll see if we can find a consensus.

Alternative Publishing (Sunday 2:30 PM) - Internet publishing and print on demand have moved far beyond vanity press. Is the brick-and-mortar bookstore doomed? Or will the publishing houses of today evolve to become the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor?

I will have postcards with the cover art and blurb of the book to pass out!

For those who have bought the story about it being a mistake, a glitch or a hacker causing problems in the Amazon search engines, I suggest you read this: Amazon's Glitch Myth Debunked

My non-fiction titles appear to have their rankings back but are still missing all the reviews left.

I am not just concerned over non-fiction books that have been "accidentally" labelled as "adult." I believe strongly that no censorship should be allowed. The deranking of adult selections is censorship. I have no trouble with them being marked as "adult," but being removed from the fair selection, review, and ranking system is absolutely unacceptable.

Write Amazon, defend your right to read what you want.

For those who have (or haven't) been following the Amazon Fail about their blatant censorship not only of "erotic" titles but all LGBT ones, I am chiming in to add that all three of my in print LGBT non-fiction titles are among those stripped of their rankings.

Fail.

More information: Who moved my rank? Sales rank purged from Amazon

For those who don't understand why this matters. This will drastically hurt sales of the books that are marked this way. It means they will not come up in some of the searches, etc. Many sales on Amazon are from people buying books "like" the other ones they ordered. For more information see: Why do Amazon Ranks matter.