Editing and Ego
Sep. 30th, 2009 03:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
purplerabbitI am trying to make myself edit one of the many first drafts I have in my que. My ability to focus on the task as definitely been off for a couple months.
I love writing. Yet, I will admit to enjoying writing the first draft and re-reading the finished product better than all the hard work in the middle. Rewriting/editing also requires a kind of flexible but strong ego that can be hard to muster some days. I need to be flexible and discerning enough to be able to see where the story needs to improve, the writing tightened or expanded, etc. and strong enough to believe "I'm good and know I can do this." I have to be able to see my mistakes but not be daunted by them, and, instead, get excited about improving on what I've already done.
I also have a number of solo works that are currently on my "to do list." I need to start carving out time for both the editing and the solo work. I love co-authoring, yet there are stories I can probably only tell on my own. It's hard to balance so many projects needing my attention, especially when my ability to pay attention has been hampered. There are, of course, real-world stuff outside my control that impact all this and have increased my tendency lately to just want to escape into reading instead of editing.
Now, don't get me wrong. Reading is actually an important part of writing. I read a lot of non-fiction, for example, that provides a lot of the material that goes into my fiction. And I read other people's fiction both for the fun of it and for the examples of what to do (and not do) in my own work.
Someone else's well written story can make me yearn to write that well. But the ego thing comes back into play here. Sometimes good writing by someone else can do the opposite of inspire but leave me feeling hopelessly unfit to write. I have to have a strong enough ego to work past the insecurity around my own shortcomings and try to improve them.
The trick for me can be how to get me to go back to it rather than throw my hands up in disgust at my own work. I have had days where comments from readers who like my work made a difference in whether or not I could keep writing that day. Even weirder, sometimes reading badly done fiction by someone else helps too. It can inspire, the "I can do this better" mentality that gets me back at the keyboard. Other times, just telling someone about the story I have not finished can remind me of the things I liked about the story and get me to go back to it.
Not sure if this post was for you or me. Am I procrastinating editing or getting myself psyched to do it? Both? As long as it works, eh?
On the positive side of the scale today... Received another royalty check from books I wrote over a decade ago. Non-fiction doesn't usually have that long a sales life. It can become outdated quickly. Yet, my first book continues to sell. The publisher closed it's doors a couple years ago, but the corporation that owned it keeps selling the stock and I still get those checks.
I write for me, I edit for readers. Writing is as much a compulsion as a talent for me, so back to that editing so I can share what I've written with others.
I love writing. Yet, I will admit to enjoying writing the first draft and re-reading the finished product better than all the hard work in the middle. Rewriting/editing also requires a kind of flexible but strong ego that can be hard to muster some days. I need to be flexible and discerning enough to be able to see where the story needs to improve, the writing tightened or expanded, etc. and strong enough to believe "I'm good and know I can do this." I have to be able to see my mistakes but not be daunted by them, and, instead, get excited about improving on what I've already done.
I also have a number of solo works that are currently on my "to do list." I need to start carving out time for both the editing and the solo work. I love co-authoring, yet there are stories I can probably only tell on my own. It's hard to balance so many projects needing my attention, especially when my ability to pay attention has been hampered. There are, of course, real-world stuff outside my control that impact all this and have increased my tendency lately to just want to escape into reading instead of editing.
Now, don't get me wrong. Reading is actually an important part of writing. I read a lot of non-fiction, for example, that provides a lot of the material that goes into my fiction. And I read other people's fiction both for the fun of it and for the examples of what to do (and not do) in my own work.
Someone else's well written story can make me yearn to write that well. But the ego thing comes back into play here. Sometimes good writing by someone else can do the opposite of inspire but leave me feeling hopelessly unfit to write. I have to have a strong enough ego to work past the insecurity around my own shortcomings and try to improve them.
The trick for me can be how to get me to go back to it rather than throw my hands up in disgust at my own work. I have had days where comments from readers who like my work made a difference in whether or not I could keep writing that day. Even weirder, sometimes reading badly done fiction by someone else helps too. It can inspire, the "I can do this better" mentality that gets me back at the keyboard. Other times, just telling someone about the story I have not finished can remind me of the things I liked about the story and get me to go back to it.
Not sure if this post was for you or me. Am I procrastinating editing or getting myself psyched to do it? Both? As long as it works, eh?
On the positive side of the scale today... Received another royalty check from books I wrote over a decade ago. Non-fiction doesn't usually have that long a sales life. It can become outdated quickly. Yet, my first book continues to sell. The publisher closed it's doors a couple years ago, but the corporation that owned it keeps selling the stock and I still get those checks.
I write for me, I edit for readers. Writing is as much a compulsion as a talent for me, so back to that editing so I can share what I've written with others.
