Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Straight, and/or Monogamous Friends?

[purplerabbit]

So I am working on the paper for the Journal that is due at the end of the month and I have a questions for folks. One thing my survey confirmed, is that 70-80% of the folks in my own friendship network define themselves as bisexual, and the same number as polyamorous. Personally, I don't feel I discriminate against folks who are not bi or poly. But clearly we have more bi and poly friends.

So for those who identify as gay, lesbian, or straight -- how does it feel when you are in a room of predominately bisexually identified people? What are the challenges for you? Are there benefits? What do you experience that is different from a setting where you are not in the minority?

The same questions for those who identify as monogamous -- how does if feel to be in a gathering of predominately poly people? What are the difficulties? Benefits? How does it compare to other situations?

You may answer either here or in email if you like. I really would like to understand this.

Comments

[jrittenhouse.livejournal.com]

When I'm in a room full of Korean people speaking Korean, it's going to make me uncomfortable because I stand out in a crowd, I can't mingle and I have no idea as to what they're talking about or feel very welcome.

Everyone will feel off in a situation where they're *obviously* the odd man out. And that everyone else can easily tell that.

[bdot.livejournal.com]

i don't see how this example works in this situation... in a room full of korean speakers, a non-korean speaker is obvious. but in a room full of english speakers who all look basically the same as well, there is nothing to identify the polys from the monos or the straights from the gays from the bis..... except how they act and who they kiss! a straight-mono can mingle and converse just as easily with a gay-poly as they can with another staight-mono. in other words, they are not obviously different from anyone else in the room.

[uncledark.livejournal.com]

there is nothing to identify the polys from the monos or the straights from the gays from the bis..... except how they act and who they kiss

It is possible that this is enough. A room full of polyfolk, all discussing their affairs... I know some people who are (at least technically) poly who don't like being in that kind of crowd. I can easily imaginge monogomous folk not liking it.

It may depend on the focus. If the crowd is mostly talking about something other than dating and sex, it would be easier to feel as if one fits in, no?

[bdot.livejournal.com]

very true.....

[maiasaur.livejournal.com]

*raises hand* I am one of the technically poly who deliberately avoids poly group social things. I'm also mostly straight. My experience has been that many of the self-identified bi-poly folk also lack appropriate boundaries and seem to assume that because one is poly s/he is amenable to sexual advances. Conversation at said events seems to almost always center around people's sex lives. Just having some of the same sexual preferences does not make for social compatibility IMNSHO unless one can carry on a conversation about other things as well.

[goldfish42.livejournal.com]

Whoa! I tried explaining this to my family, when I said that I had disliked PolyCamp and was not planning to go back because I had very little in common with anyone I met there, and the event was not organized in such a way as to provide for or bring out common interests. They all were a bit confused: "but you had being poly in common with everybody there!" Yeah, and that was the only subject anyone wanted to talk about. :(