purplerabbit (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
purplerabbit) wrote2004-11-08 12:37 pm
purplerabbit) wrote2004-11-08 12:37 pm
PhD Update
The last few weeks have been a difficult and intense process of trying to convince my previous Anthropology department to readmit me so that I can finish my dissertation and get my Ph.D. They have been putting me through the ringer with multiple drafts of prospectus and letters from my adviser which repeatedly try to discourage me from continuing in the process. Yet, they have not yet said no. Obstacle after obstacle but not a refusal. It is hard and I hope that they are just testing me. A dissertation is hard enough to write without having my confidence and morale attacked at every turn.
Here is an except from the last letter I sent my adviser:
I am sorry that committee members have such "low confidence" in my abilities. I do not share their judgment. I know I am capable and willing to do what it takes to finish the work I began. I would not have written you had I not been certain. In fact, part of the delay in contacting you was to make sure that I could before asking. Yes, I would like the committee to meet. I am willing to answer any questions they have. I would be willing to fly out there and meet with people as well.
I understand the need for the tight deadlines. In fact, I too want this process to go ahead quickly. I have already made all the provisions to spend the equivalent of a full time job (or more) on the dissertation for the next 6-9 months.
I have no illusions that this will be easy. After the last few years, I doubt I have many illusions left at all. I do have determination. I am not willing to give up. If I was willing to give up, circumstances of the last few years gave me plenty of good excuses to do so. I don't want a good excuse to walk away. I want to do the work.
Her response was to ask for yet another, this time expanded, version of the prospectus. My committee will meet the week after Thanksgiving to discuss the matter and decide whether or not to ask the department to readmit me. They will want to "question" (read grill) me on the phone as part of the process.
Meanwhile, I am still trying desperately to reread the original theoretical material that I will need before beginning the writing again. I need to spend a couple days at the UC Berkeley Library updating my reference materials and other cites. And I am still working on getting the tapes transcribed. One friend was able to put in a few afternoons last week and I will contact others who have volunteered. Meanwhile, I still haven't even found most of the interview tapes. I need to go through storage again looking for them.
Sorry if I haven't reached out to friends lately. This is all quite overwhelming. I have to keep focused. I miss my friends and love to hear from you. Don't be worried if I don't respond to email or am distracted when you talk to me. It isn't you. Most of my mental and physical energy is going into this fight. Thank you for your support.
Here is an except from the last letter I sent my adviser:
I am sorry that committee members have such "low confidence" in my abilities. I do not share their judgment. I know I am capable and willing to do what it takes to finish the work I began. I would not have written you had I not been certain. In fact, part of the delay in contacting you was to make sure that I could before asking. Yes, I would like the committee to meet. I am willing to answer any questions they have. I would be willing to fly out there and meet with people as well.
I understand the need for the tight deadlines. In fact, I too want this process to go ahead quickly. I have already made all the provisions to spend the equivalent of a full time job (or more) on the dissertation for the next 6-9 months.
I have no illusions that this will be easy. After the last few years, I doubt I have many illusions left at all. I do have determination. I am not willing to give up. If I was willing to give up, circumstances of the last few years gave me plenty of good excuses to do so. I don't want a good excuse to walk away. I want to do the work.
Her response was to ask for yet another, this time expanded, version of the prospectus. My committee will meet the week after Thanksgiving to discuss the matter and decide whether or not to ask the department to readmit me. They will want to "question" (read grill) me on the phone as part of the process.
Meanwhile, I am still trying desperately to reread the original theoretical material that I will need before beginning the writing again. I need to spend a couple days at the UC Berkeley Library updating my reference materials and other cites. And I am still working on getting the tapes transcribed. One friend was able to put in a few afternoons last week and I will contact others who have volunteered. Meanwhile, I still haven't even found most of the interview tapes. I need to go through storage again looking for them.
Sorry if I haven't reached out to friends lately. This is all quite overwhelming. I have to keep focused. I miss my friends and love to hear from you. Don't be worried if I don't respond to email or am distracted when you talk to me. It isn't you. Most of my mental and physical energy is going into this fight. Thank you for your support.
no subject
Let me know if you need that to be an in-person hug at any time and I'll do my best to get over there and accomodate you!!!!!!!
*huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggssssssssssssssssssssssssssssz*