Lame

[purplerabbit]

Limping shouldn't make me feel bad. Right?

Webster's New World Dictionary:

lame
1. crippled; disabled; esp., having an injured leg or food that makes one limp, impairs mobility.
2. stiff and very painful
3. poor, weak, unconvincing, ineffectual.

Ever notice the way the word lame is used by people. It is used as an insult. "That's so lame!"

I am so very tired of being lame. 15 months since my leg shattered. I guess I should be grateful I can walk at all. Grateful isn't the feeling I have most of the time.

If I concentrate and don't push it, I can walk without limping. I still can't really dance. I can't run. I can't walk very far or very long. I have trouble with turns and inclines. Stairs still both hurt and scare. I so miss movement. I miss dancing and skipping and walking without thinking.

Somedays I just want to scream in frustration or break down crying in sorrow. Damn, I hate being lame.

I so very much want to dance.

Comments

this too shall pass

[paraquat.livejournal.com]

I remember when my foot collapsed about 8 years ago now. I hated life for the two months that I couldn't get out of bed without a cane. The orthotics helped a lot, but it was years before i could dance or do much without them. I may never be able aging to live withoput them, but things HAVE gotten better. So hang in there hon, this too shall pass!