Daring to Plan

In the last several years, every time I made plans they have gone horribly awry. It has made me, the one who always had a plan, afraid to even have goals sometimes.

This week's Brezny's Horoscope for Aquarius suggests that now would be a good time to change that. As the poster child for Aquarius (6 planets in), Brezny's predictions for me have always been scarily accurate. So with that in mind, I am trying to open up and have dreams/plans again.

My birthday is Feb. 13th, so I am just past the midway point in my personal solar year. So, in hopes to accomplish the following by my birthday:

1. Finish my novel. (At least 1st draft, preferably at least some rewrites by then too.)


2. Begin and accomplish a major portion of the work needed to begin writing my dissertation, such as transcribing interviews and reading the theoretical material again.


3. Get our financial situation stabilized. (Bankruptcy complete, student loans out of default, bills being paid.)


4. Find and do community work that brings me joy and helps others.

I could use a little help from my friends in some of these. Particularly, I am trying to think about how and best to accomplish #4. What does the world need from me at this point in my life? What do you, my community most want to see me do? Ultimately, it is my decision, but I would love feed back. I have had several folks suggest they would like me to resume my calling as a magical teacher. Others have said they missed my poly activism and education. There are a hundred ideas in my head but I want to be able to find a focus and stick with it.

Your ideas/ desires?

5 Love Languages Quiz

I felt like checking both boxes most times and it shows in the score. I really want to embrace the power of AND here! I need all of it. I think that in this point, I need more touch than anything but I still like all the other areas too.

Score Love Language
6 Words of Affirmation
6 Quality Time
3 Receiving of Gifts
6 Acts of Service
9 Physical Touch

Oh, sweet darling...

Listening to random play on my music files when Carole King began singing, "Child of Mine."

I found myself sitting quietly, tears rolling down my cheeks, my heart longing and proud at the same time:

Child Of Mine
Carole King
(Writer)

Although you see the world
Different than me
Sometimes I can touch upon
The wonders that you see
And all the new colors and pictures you've designed
Oh, yes, sweet darling,
So glad you are a child of mine

Child of mine, child of mine
Oh, yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

You don't need direction
You know which way to go
And I don't want to hold you back
I just want to watch you grow
You're the one who taught me
You don't have to look behind
Oh, yes, sweet darling,
So glad you are a child of mine

Nobody's gonna kill your dreams
Or tell you how to live your life
They'll always be people to make it hard for awhile
But you'll turn their head when they see you smile

The times you were born in
May not have been the best
But you can make the times to come
Better than the rest
I know you will be honest
If you can't always be kind
Oh, yes, sweet darling,
So glad you are a child of mine.

Rowan left a month ago. Four months until he gets to visit for the holidays. Sometimes the hole in our lives is like a black hole sucking the light into nowhere.

Writing again...

Just finished a really fun scene at the beginning of Chapter 17.

Leeahlm rocks!

Good day...

Wrote over 1000 words on the novel today. Going to go to hang out with friends and watch the sunset now.

Oh, and my "baby boy" called me to tell me about 3rd Grade today. He is also riding a bike without training wheels to and from school.