purplerabbit

Rain, darkness, clouds! I just can't stand it anymore! I dragged the shop lights up to my room and put in the full spectrum bulbs. It still feels like I am suffocating in the grayness! I NEED SUNLIGHT! And the ten day weather forecast for my area includes not even one day of sunlight! Rain and more rain. I feel like I am suffocating.

I know I make jokes about being solar powered, but this is no joke. I feel like I am drowning in the rain. I have what they call SAD (seasonal affective disorder), not to mention that the cold air and moisture makes the fibromyalgia, asthma and leg injury all worse! Pain feeds the depression, depression feeds the pain in a nasty cycle. I know all this. I just don't know what to do about it at this point. I have taken my medications for the all of the above, the oil heater is on in my room and I have no less than six lights on in my room. I have things I need to get done, but I feel like the gray light is a weight that holds me down and saps my will.

Damn, if I had to be in the constant rain, I would move to Seattle. At least then I could enjoy the beauty of my dear friends' ranch -- and the lower cost of living! Meanwhile, maybe I could go back to bed hibernate until the sun comes out again.