Masking pain with anger...

[purplerabbit]

I posted this in response to a "bloody brilliant" post by inflectionpoint:

It wasn't safe to be sad or afraid when I was a kid. Getting angry and tough was the only acceptable thing -- to either of my parents. I was bullied at school at lot. My dad loved me but called me a "pansy" when I was too vulnerable. Mom loves me but told me girls shouldn't cry all the time, they should get mad instead of sad. So if I look angry, I am probably afraid or hurt. I have gotten better, a bit, at feeling the more vulnerable emotions but not at showing them most of the time.

[Don't worry, I am in a good mood today. Except for the being sick part. I just wanted to echo her experience since it is similar to my own.]

Oh, and thanks very much to cyan_blue for the new user pics. At this rate I will need more space. Grin.

Comments

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Huh. I think that may be true of me as well, to a greater extent than I'd thought. I mean, my stepmom called me a pansy too, but I hadn't connected that with my being afraid to tell people they've hurt me because I figure they'll just scoff at me. I think this will bear mulling over.