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May. 10th, 2005 01:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
purplerabbitThanks for all the virtual hugs and shows of support. It really does help.
Woke up late today, with swollen eyes and that oh-so-deep heartache. Soul-bruised.
I tried to approach Mother's Day head-on this year in hopes it would make it better. I had a tea party. It was a good party. I also got to have fun with "Red Hat Society" gifts for my mother. I enjoy being a "good daughter" to my unusual mother. I did get to talk to my wonderful child on the phone. Everything seemed okay except for a persistent headache. Then I became brittle and a small argument provoked a burst of anger which then led to the damn bursting. I started crying and couldn't stop.
You see, I get through most days by trying not to look at that deep wound left when R isn't here. Somedays it comes looking for me. I know the psychology and it makes perfect sense. There just doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it except give into the occasional venting of the pain. Then try to go back to daily life. I try to focus my thoughts on the future.
The light of my life returns June 8.
Woke up late today, with swollen eyes and that oh-so-deep heartache. Soul-bruised.
I tried to approach Mother's Day head-on this year in hopes it would make it better. I had a tea party. It was a good party. I also got to have fun with "Red Hat Society" gifts for my mother. I enjoy being a "good daughter" to my unusual mother. I did get to talk to my wonderful child on the phone. Everything seemed okay except for a persistent headache. Then I became brittle and a small argument provoked a burst of anger which then led to the damn bursting. I started crying and couldn't stop.
You see, I get through most days by trying not to look at that deep wound left when R isn't here. Somedays it comes looking for me. I know the psychology and it makes perfect sense. There just doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it except give into the occasional venting of the pain. Then try to go back to daily life. I try to focus my thoughts on the future.
The light of my life returns June 8.
