Hurt, hurt and owwwh!

[purplerabbit]

Yesterday was the first time we had to send Rowan back since I got off the mood altering prescriptions. Damn, damn and yecch!

First the crying and crying. Then the numbness. Then the rage. Then cried myself to sleep.

I think I forget sometimes how much rage is a part of grief. The horrible anger at having someone you love taken away from you. The way helplessness makes one want to lash out. Yecch!

Sorry uncledark. I love you.

I even got angry at folks for not responding to my posts yesterday and was very tempted to cancel my livejournal account. Sigh. I hope today will be better.

Today I am so very tired. Up early, I am not really sleepy but very weary. Please let today be better.