Argh! What happened?
Nov. 26th, 2002 07:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
purplerabbitHas it really been over a month since I post here. Writers block even here. When I am not at the computer I think of lots of things I would like to write. Sit down and "blank."
Okay, so being ...
Starting again. So there is the interrupt factor. And the fact that our server has crashed three times in the last month.
So what happened yesterday? What astrological miasma created that mess? Everyone seemed to be having a bad day. I woke up in screaming agony with every muscle and joint even more unhappy than usual. My phone rang off the hook with friend needing someone to share their bad day with. Even time with little Victoria was difficult.
Let's just hope today is better. I have so much I want to accomplish. Sigh. I know, work work work.
On the good side, Mary is getting better. She now uses a bedside cammode. That means that when my body will let me, I get to sleep through the night instead of getting up for bed pans. She can also use the walker to get to her recliner in her room. Her wound is closing slowly. It is only about 1 1/2 inches long now. Her mood is improving too. She is really funny lately. Now if only I could get the *$*&! wheelchair ramp built so that she could leave the house...
We are in the process of fixing up the Volvo so we can sell it and get a van. The Volvo was helpful a the time we got it but it has never been the right vehicle for us. We miss our van. Now with Mary, it is really important to get a van. Even better, yesterday I was able to arrange the donation of a wheelchair lift that we can have installed into a van when we get one. I have been doing very well with my barter/trade skills lately but not as well with sales. The economy is so bad that people on Ebay just don't bid like they use to.
Psychobitch is still making things as difficult as possible. We only get a week with Rowan at the holidays and we haven't seen him since early August. Now she has decided that a week is only 6 days. We desperately need a lawyer! But we don't have the money to pay a lawyer.
I miss Rowan so bad that I can barely breathe when I allow myself to feel. Maybe that's why I haven't posted. I just can't stop working long enough to allow myself to feel. As intense as the pain in my body is, the pain in my soul is worse. Will it always be like this? Pain, fear, grief -- years now.
Can't do this. I am powerless in this situation and it makes me crazy. Surviving is all I have some days.
Okay, so being ...
Starting again. So there is the interrupt factor. And the fact that our server has crashed three times in the last month.
So what happened yesterday? What astrological miasma created that mess? Everyone seemed to be having a bad day. I woke up in screaming agony with every muscle and joint even more unhappy than usual. My phone rang off the hook with friend needing someone to share their bad day with. Even time with little Victoria was difficult.
Let's just hope today is better. I have so much I want to accomplish. Sigh. I know, work work work.
On the good side, Mary is getting better. She now uses a bedside cammode. That means that when my body will let me, I get to sleep through the night instead of getting up for bed pans. She can also use the walker to get to her recliner in her room. Her wound is closing slowly. It is only about 1 1/2 inches long now. Her mood is improving too. She is really funny lately. Now if only I could get the *$*&! wheelchair ramp built so that she could leave the house...
We are in the process of fixing up the Volvo so we can sell it and get a van. The Volvo was helpful a the time we got it but it has never been the right vehicle for us. We miss our van. Now with Mary, it is really important to get a van. Even better, yesterday I was able to arrange the donation of a wheelchair lift that we can have installed into a van when we get one. I have been doing very well with my barter/trade skills lately but not as well with sales. The economy is so bad that people on Ebay just don't bid like they use to.
Psychobitch is still making things as difficult as possible. We only get a week with Rowan at the holidays and we haven't seen him since early August. Now she has decided that a week is only 6 days. We desperately need a lawyer! But we don't have the money to pay a lawyer.
I miss Rowan so bad that I can barely breathe when I allow myself to feel. Maybe that's why I haven't posted. I just can't stop working long enough to allow myself to feel. As intense as the pain in my body is, the pain in my soul is worse. Will it always be like this? Pain, fear, grief -- years now.
Can't do this. I am powerless in this situation and it makes me crazy. Surviving is all I have some days.
