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[personal profile] purplerabbit
I can't stop crying and get get to sleep. My big beautiful black cat, Jessie, was found dead this evening. I went to call him in for bed and he didn't answer. Sicne he is always at my side - sleeps with me, sits with me while I write and follows me from room to room, I knew something was wrong. I called and called, but he didn't come. So, my husbands got out the flashlights and went looking. They found him already dead and cold on the side of the house. He must have been hit by a car and crawled back to our yard, dying literally under the window to our room. I ache that I couldnt' hold my poor Jessie when he was dying. He was such a wonderful loving cat who made my life better in ways that most peope will never get. I am heart broken. I can't imagine how lonely I will be with out him.

This seems so much to take after the week I've had. My mother was in a accident on Thursday, and I have been upset and frightened about her health. Frustrated by how little I can do for her and desparately hoping that she gets better soon. I have been barely holding it together through that, and now this. Jessie has been one of my greatest sources of comfort and joy and I feel like I failed him. He was so young and beautiful, so full of life and he didn't deserve to die like that. I can't stop crying.
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purplerabbit

April 2015

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