Forgiveness

In the chapter I am working on, the characters must forgive themselves and each other. The consequences of their poor choices resulted in a death. I know that each did the best that they knew how to do given their life histories. That said, they still have to live with the results and with each other.

How much do you forgive? How do you find the capacity? Some recent experiences with friends have reminded me how difficult and absolutely necessary is forgiveness.

My mother has always said I am way too forgiving. I find her forgiving of her children and no one else. Yet, in recent years, I have found true forgiveness harder and harder to achieve. I will find that I thought I had forgiven someone only to have the reminder of the pain bring up the anger again.

And can you forgive someone who doesn't apologize? My ex dragged me with a car. I find I now believe it would be better for my own health if I could forgive her. But every flare-up of joint pain in my hips reminds me of the emotional and physcial trauma she put me through. She has never apologized. I don't know if she would do it again if given a chance. How do I forgive her?

I believe in forgiveness as a true miracle of humanity. It is an ideal worth reaching for even if we so often fall short.