Fiction Writers are Sadists

So the book I am writing has me thinking a lot about the personality of authors and what their writing says about them. On a large scale, there is something particularly telling about being a fiction writer in the first place.

All my life I have had these amazing characters in my head and then I do extremely unpleasant things to them. Think about it. What makes the stories interesting to read is when bad things happend to the characters. I am not writing "Waiting for Godot" here. Most works of fiction are about about ripping the characters apart and seeing how they survive it -- if they survive it. I love the characters I am writing about. Yet, I also delight in putting them through hell as part of the story. In fact, the scenes I probably get the most stimulation/satisfaction from are the ones that are horrible for the characters. There is something intensely sadistic about being a fiction writer.

Another window into my soul...

Since the characters I am writing about have been with me for over 30 years, they really do tell a lot about me.

Particularly strange to me is the lead character, Allaahtba. She is one of several alien female characters written during my early adolescents. Several of them share the striking characteristic of not being able to cry. Yep, several of them have no tear ducts and facial muscles that have a reduced range of expression. These are not unemotional characters like Spok. They are characters with intense feelings but the inability to communicate them with those around them.

I had been taught very early by bullies at school and well intentioned adults, not to show vulnerability. Adults trying to help me with bullies always advised not to let them see me cry, not to show them it upset me. My ex-Marine (2 tours of Nam) dad called me a pansy when I cried. My mother, feminist-radical-in-the-making taught me that girls cry too much. Fight back, get angry was their advise.

Yet, I was a committted pacificst. (Still am, but with diffierent ideas of what that means.)

So I created these powerful female aliens with the inability to cry or show feeling but who also didn't believe in violence. Except that extreme violence is always done to them in these stories. Done to them until they fight back.

(no subject)

"Poly drama with drawn swords -- it isn't pretty and it stains the floors."

Just a random thought about the chapter of the book I just wrote. I had a weird week folks.