Lame

Limping shouldn't make me feel bad. Right?

Webster's New World Dictionary:

lame
1. crippled; disabled; esp., having an injured leg or food that makes one limp, impairs mobility.
2. stiff and very painful
3. poor, weak, unconvincing, ineffectual.

Ever notice the way the word lame is used by people. It is used as an insult. "That's so lame!"

I am so very tired of being lame. 15 months since my leg shattered. I guess I should be grateful I can walk at all. Grateful isn't the feeling I have most of the time.

If I concentrate and don't push it, I can walk without limping. I still can't really dance. I can't run. I can't walk very far or very long. I have trouble with turns and inclines. Stairs still both hurt and scare. I so miss movement. I miss dancing and skipping and walking without thinking.

Somedays I just want to scream in frustration or break down crying in sorrow. Damn, I hate being lame.

I so very much want to dance.

X-rated out-takes

Okay, so sometimes writing can be very frustrating. When I know what needs to come next but the words aren't coming. Sometimes it helps to write something else with the same characters until it starts to flow again.

So in a perverse mood I wrote what I am calling the Xcuts. X-rated versions of the currently R-rated sex scenes in the book. Lots of fun. So I thought I would offer a tidbit or two to those who might enjoy them.

( WARNING: This is an explicit sex scene between two men with bdsm overtones. It is taken out of context. If you want to understand the context, I do have the book so far on my website. Clicking on this link will be saying that you understand and accept that. If I get positive feedback, I might post some of the other scenes. Let me know what you think. )