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May. 12th, 2003 01:36 amMother's Day. As fraught with emotional intensity as our feelings about mothers. Today was a clear example of that. So many layers.
Troy went to spend the day with his parents, celebrating not only Mother's Day, but his mother's birthday as well. He had a good day. They have made a lot of progress in their relationship over the last few years.
Lon had planned to go visit his mother in Sonoma. Problem is that he found out his mother was in Kentucky with his sisters. She hadn't told him. Which brought up all his complicated feelings about his mother and their relationship. It makes me angry to see the pain he feels and to realize how much of his self esteem problems are from a childhood of feeling emotionally abandoned by his parents. I like Lon's mom, but I wish she could have given Lon the love and support he so deserves then and now.
Meanwhile, I have my mother with me. I am grateful for that. I am also aware that my cousin lost her mother this year. My mother also reminises about her mother and how much she misses her. Rachael and Victoria came over to visit and to give Mary and I MD presents. I am MamaDawn but I don't have my own child with me and, of course, Tina never encourages him to call me for Mother's Day. It was an emotionally complicated day. Anger, sadness, relief, joy and grief. Sigh.
I celebrate my Mother and am happy she is with me. I mourn my Aunt. I ache for my own child. Exhausting.
Troy went to spend the day with his parents, celebrating not only Mother's Day, but his mother's birthday as well. He had a good day. They have made a lot of progress in their relationship over the last few years.
Lon had planned to go visit his mother in Sonoma. Problem is that he found out his mother was in Kentucky with his sisters. She hadn't told him. Which brought up all his complicated feelings about his mother and their relationship. It makes me angry to see the pain he feels and to realize how much of his self esteem problems are from a childhood of feeling emotionally abandoned by his parents. I like Lon's mom, but I wish she could have given Lon the love and support he so deserves then and now.
Meanwhile, I have my mother with me. I am grateful for that. I am also aware that my cousin lost her mother this year. My mother also reminises about her mother and how much she misses her. Rachael and Victoria came over to visit and to give Mary and I MD presents. I am MamaDawn but I don't have my own child with me and, of course, Tina never encourages him to call me for Mother's Day. It was an emotionally complicated day. Anger, sadness, relief, joy and grief. Sigh.
I celebrate my Mother and am happy she is with me. I mourn my Aunt. I ache for my own child. Exhausting.
